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Jul. 1st, 2009 @ 05:19 pm Well, this looks pretty good.
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DC just put up in their blog a preview of Adventure Comics #1 starring Superboy (Kon-El).

Actually seems like fun. The art is not bad, but the guy should work more on his facial expressions. Everything else looks nice but Kon-El has this combination of exasperation and zombie on his face. Like the weight of ennui has crushed his spirit, leaving behind a pitiful mockery of a man filled with impotent hate for existence.

I don't think that's what the script was going for.
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Ponder
May. 26th, 2009 @ 12:45 am Fanfic: Tequila Sunset.
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Title: Tequila Sunset
Characters: Kon/Cassie and short appearances of Cissie and Greta.
Rating: G
Summary: It’s Valentine’s day and Cassie expects poor Kon to screw up royally. Will he fail or will he succeed? Chan chan chaaaaaaan!
Word Count: 1405 (Woohoo! The word count is getting shorter!)
Prompt: “Sunset at the beach” given by [info]museofspeed .
Disclaimer: All characters owned by DC, except maybe Superboy, I think. In any case I don’t own him.

NOTES: I started writing this for the Valentine’s day challenge, but I’m slower than crippled molasses so that didn’t happen. But since it also fits for the current Unusual Pairing challenge, it is on time for this one. Cassie / Kon is an unusual pairing? There are many things wrong with this world. This is one of them.

Read more... )
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Ponder
May. 22nd, 2009 @ 04:39 pm I weep for humanity.
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According to some... people... the ending of Battle for the Cowl is confusing. They can't figure out who is the new Batman.

In order to help, I just read the last issue to solve this mystery. The book ends with Dick Grayson saying "Yeah, I'm Batman now."

I think that was a clue.

I guess people didn't notice Morrison was not the writer and they forgot to turn off their "Oh My God! Nobody can understand this!" autopilot.
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Frustrated
May. 5th, 2009 @ 05:46 pm In retrospect...
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In retrospect, I was writing about Catwoman's origin while still angry, and I shouldn't write while angry, and two of the pieces of text I quoted might not be as angering as I though. They are still very much wrong as wrong can be, but not wrong in any way that angers me.

These two, on the other hand?

"can't reconcile Selina ever having been a prostitute, given her very independent nature."

"I could never reconcile this tough slum living prostitute with the high life living Selina."


These two still piss me off with their awful ignorance.
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Frustrated
May. 4th, 2009 @ 03:24 pm Why do you hate prostitutes, people?
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Scans_Daily seems to be going through a phase of love for Catwoman with a bunch of posts dedicated to her. Actually, it might be just one guy or gal doing all the posts; I am too lazy to check who is posting all that stuff, but the point is still the same.

One of the posts caught my eye because it contained some scans from Catwoman’s youth. I think this was some issue where Doug Moench tried to retcon out or at least downplay the origin story Frank “WHORES WHORES WHORES” Miller gave Catwoman in Batman Year One, where Catwoman was a common prostitute who one day puts on a catsuit and starts stealing stuff, because it was more fun and lucrative than being a prostitute.

What I want to ask is why people hate the prostitute origin story? Is it so bad that Catwoman was once a prostitute? Really? Street prostitutes are not allowed to leave their harsh life behind and start having superhero adventures with Batman? Batman can’t love a former prostitute? Is getting a dick in your vagina so tainting?

I don’t think these people are being entirely misogynistic, but only because there are no male prostitute characters to compare with Catwoman. Other than Booster Gold, of course. But Booster Gold whoring himself for money with old women was played for laughs. I’m not sure he counts for our purposes. In any case, I’ll give people the benefit of the doubt and pretend this is about sexphobia and not misogyny.

I wouldn’t call myself a fan of the prostitute origin, but I can see a big silver lining in it. Catwoman didn’t like being a prostitute, and I can easily see why, but then she saw this goofy guy in a bat costume having a more awesome life and she said “Hey! If that moron can do it, why can’t I do it?” And then she became a glamorous cat burglar by her own hand. You know what? I take that back, I am a fan of the prostitute origin. There, I said it!

Despite my better judgment I read some of the reasons why some people hate this origin, and frankly I don’t think these people are as progressive or enlightened as they seem to think. I am not putting their names, or bothered to read who said what, but you can check then out in the link above if you want to. And yes, these are from several different people.

“But in the end I just don't buy it as an origin for the world's greatest thief. That's the main thing with me. Selina is the absolute best thief in the world, bar none, and an amazing athlete as well. She's good enough at what she does that I feel she has to have been working at it for all or most of her life. I just don't buy that any significant period in her past was spent as a prostitute”

This one is insulting. Sorry, hos! You can never be the best at anything, it’s because of all the dicks you sucked. Frowny face :(. Sorry, it’s all your fault for whoring too much and not practicing other stuff!

For the life of me, I can’t understand how anyone can even bring this logic to a fictional world where Green Arrow is just a trust fund baby who one day picked up a bow and became the best archer in the world; where Batman is the master of whatever the heck he decides to be; where Oracle is the best hacked despite that she is a Librarian and an English major and not a computer engineer.

Why can’t a prostitute be a great thief? Oh yes… the dicks.

can't reconcile Selina ever having been a prostitute, given her very independent nature.

Sorry, Catwoman, you can’t be an independent woman. It’s because of all the dicks you sucked. Frowny face to you, Catwoman!

I could never reconcile this tough slum living prostitute with the high life living Selina.

Sorry, Catwoman, you can’t buy pretty things with the money you stole. It’s because of all the dicks you sucked. Frowny face, Catty, frowny face!

Selina as a prostitute is utter fail because it is simply bad storytelling. It does not make sense! Selina is a cat burglar. Prostitute to cat burglar is no way a logical shift.

Sorry, Catwoman, you can’t become a thief. It’s because of all the dicks you sucked. Frowny face.

Okay, this is getting repetitive. Let’s find a different take on that. Oh, here is one:

For me, Catwoman as a prostitute offends me mostly because Frank Miller was the creator of the idea. It's technically an interesting, innovative idea, but it can feel a little cheap, because Miller makes all of his women whores. There was no imagination involved in his decision for Selina's profession; he made the same decision he makes everytime he writes a female character.

This might surprise people, but Miller has written female characters who were not prostitutes. I know, it’s amazing, but it’s true. I saw it in a rerun of THAT’S INCREDIBLE!

But again, I have to ask, why are people offended by Miller writing about prostitutes? Oh, I don’t mind the whores! I mind Miller writing about whores. Well, why?

Am I again being mean to people, or maybe these people are being sexphobic?
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Sad
Apr. 27th, 2009 @ 04:53 pm 52... done right! *snicker*
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This is from an interview to Mark Waid.

[On “52"] EIC Dan Didio, who first championed the concept, hated what we were doing. H-A-T-E-D ‘52.’ Would storm up and down the halls telling everyone how much he hated it. And Steve [Wacker, editor], God bless him, kept us out of the loop on that particular drama. Siglain, having less seniority, was less able to do so, and there's one issue of ‘52’ near the end that was written almost totally by Dan and Keith Giffen because none of the writers could plot it to Dan's satisfaction. Which was and is his prerogative as EIC, but man, there's little more demoralizing than taking the ball down to the one-yard line and then being benched by the guy who kept referring to ‘Countdown’ as ‘52 done right.’

Now, remember this is Waid's version... but still. Funny, in its way.
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Frustrated
Apr. 19th, 2009 @ 11:05 pm TINY RACISM!
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Why are you so racist, Beast Boy?
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Frustrated
Apr. 13th, 2009 @ 11:21 pm REVIEWS FOR APRIL 13, 2009
Okay, let’s review stuff today.

Today we got the Wonder Woman animated movie, Teen Titans Annual 2009, Batman: Battle for the Cowl #2, Seaguy: Slaves of Mickey Eye #1, and Doctor Doom and the Masters of Evil #3.

All that and more... well, not more... after the cut!... )
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Opinion
Apr. 7th, 2009 @ 11:36 am No, God, leave that Galaxy alone!
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A friend sent me a link to this:

Pulsar Creates Cosmic "Hand"



Are you there, God? It's me, Cissie. Can you please stop moving galaxies around with your giant, spooky blue hand? It creeps me out.

Wait, I have seen this before!  )
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WTF
Mar. 31st, 2009 @ 12:26 am Teen Titans, JLA, GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!
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These are not really reviews; they are more like just side commentary about Teen Titans and JLA. I don't like to write posts to just complain and complain, and I know I have complained over and over and over and over again about Teen Titans being the cemetery of happiness and JLA just being really pointless. But I can't help it today! I just can't, because the bastards are taunting me! TAUNTING ME! You'll see.

Really, it's like the perfect storm of metacommentary, when both Teen titans and JLA explain why they are sucking so hard right now.

The suckitude of Teen Titans and JLA behind the cut... )
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Frustrated
Mar. 26th, 2009 @ 10:49 am Just... stuff.
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First, [info]ruckawriter</lj>(Better known as Greg Rucka) has posted some sketches of the backup feature that will appear in Detective Comics.



Who is the dandiest lesbian superhero on the block? You are, you are!

Most superheroes dress like hobos. I don't why that happens, but I am glad Cully Hammer here has given Renee the pimpiest suit in all Dandytown to kick evil in penis with style and comfort.

Also, I like Renee better with short hair. I don't why a bunch of people are complaining that they liked the long one better.

In other not news, there is an interview with Diedrich Bader, who plays Batman in Batman B&B.

Some people have complained that there aren't many women in the cartoon, and I agree, there aren't and I would like to see more. It looks like we are going to get some more.

"Another episode to look forward to, at least according to Bader, already has a personal favorite. It will see the return of Will Friedle as Blue Beetle. It will also feature the introduction of Tara Strong as Huntress, Armin Shimmerman as The Calculator, Grey Delisle as Black Canary, and Ellen Greene as a newly created character called Mrs. Manface."

Huntress, Black Canary and... Mrs. Manface? What?
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Charmed
Mar. 24th, 2009 @ 12:45 am DC Solicitations for June 2009.
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Haven’t done a rundown of solicitations in a while, and mostly because DC has been kinda boring, but this month looks surprisingly fun.

NOTE: For some reason Google Chrome and Photobucket don’t get along. If I try to open Photobucket with Chrome the computer starts crawling. Does that happen to anybody else? Photobucket is the only page I use IE for.

Let’s see what uncle Didio has for us in June... )
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Ponder
Mar. 18th, 2009 @ 09:40 pm So... McKeever is leaving Teen Titans.
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When McKeever was announced as Geoff Johns successor at the helm of Teen Titans, fans, who didn't like the all tears and dismemberment motif the series had at the time, received the news with the joy fat people usually reserve for news like "Free hamburgers fired right into your home and your mouth with Mcdonalds' new atomic catapult!" Mostly because McKeever had written a few teenage heroes at Marvel who didn't suffer massive body trauma and whined a lot in every issue. Although I personally thought Gravity was at least eight kinds of boring, so I didn't go crazy with the news. But, I thought at least it would result in a less miserable Teen Titans book.

A few months later and any hope that Teen Titans was going to be all smiles, kisses and hugs died of a quadruple heart attack, fell out of a window and was gang banged by a troupe of marauding necrophiliacs. And then hit by thunder, and then a dog passed by and peed on the ashes. And then the dog came back and did it again. McKeever kept the ship steady as it goes and the U.S.S. Teen Titans kept venturing farther and farther into the waters of Misery, which as legend tells us was formed by the tears of children who were told there was no Santa Claus, and the tears of people who bought all of Countdown because they had been told it was going to matter. Teen Titans' contribution to the museum of retarded decadence of superhero comics were several pages of Marvin and Wendy from Superfriends being mawled to death by Wonder Dog. A crass scene akin to Smurfette prostituting herself for crack, Yogi Bear dying of auto-erotic asphyxiation, or whatever depravity some maladjusted manchild who watched cartoons from the 70s want to see happen.

McKeever has announced he will no longer be the writer of Teen Titans after issue 71, except for the Ravager backup feature. As expected, NoScans-Daily is celebrating this. I'm not. Whoever writes it after McKeever is not going to change things simply because the editor of Teen Titans doesn't want to change things. And the editor of Teen Titans is Dan Didio, so nobody is going to tell him to give it up. Now, if you bother to remember, Dan Didio canceled Young Justice to start the current volume of Teen Titans. Dan Didio believed and probably still believes that a book starring Robin, Wondergirl, Superboy and Impulse / Kid flash should be one of the flagship titles of DC and one of its biggest sellers. Young Justice of course was neither, and to be entirely candid Dan Didio's idea is not completely without merit. Of course I loved Young Justice, but leaving bias aside you can see that with those four characters there was the possibility and potential of bringing back the days of the Wolfman and Perez Teen Titans, which competed in sales with X-Men... which in those days sold more than it does now. But I am not DC, just a reader. I care about what I want to read and not about maximizing DC's sales. That's not my problem, but it's nice to see the point of view of DC and why they did what they did. It's a better idea than thinking that DC does what it does to hurt you personally because they hate you because you smell.

So, did Teen Titans set the charts on fire? Well, no. It sells okay and it is in no danger of cancellation but hardly the second coming. If I were Peter David, I would send Dan Didio photocopies of my butt by fax every day just for that. Also, if the idea was to take advantage of having big name sidekicks / fourth generation heroes in one team, then killing Superboy and Kid Flash was kind of retarded, wasn't it? Just saying. Because I don't think that helped.

The problem with Teen Titans is that it became the book where happiness went to die. Like an elephant cemetery of big happy thoughts where gentle giants coughed and then collapsed to never rise again.

I have noticed my writing in this post is like a beatnik novel... but stupid. I blame my mom's vodka.

And now back to the topic. Teen Titans was not completely impossible to enjoy. It was like scratching one's butt: pleasurable but not particularly thrilling. But the problem was the almost endless stream of misery and shock and awe tactics used. The book felt awkward to read. Marvin and Wendy bitten to pieces by Wonder Dog is the kind of thing I expect to see as a one page joke in an issue of Ambush Bug, not as several pages of horror and as the start of a plot thread. You know why? Because I can't take it seriously, just like I can't take a story about Darkwing Duck fighting AIDS. It's just ridiculous and the kind of thing one only sees in fanfics written by manchildren who want to see their cartoons as grim and gritty pieces of misery, because that's "mature" and "serious" and they are "mature" and "serious" people... in their crazy heads.

Nobody wants to see Teen Titans like Tiny Titans, or at least nobody worth listening to, but at some point the book needs to grow up and learn that it doesn't need to be serious all the time, or at least not the way immature people think "serious business" should be, which are usually childish, self-important and very stupid.

Leaving that aside, there were parts of McKeevers Teen Titans I actually liked. Otherwise I would have stopped reading it and I wouldn't even be writing this. McKeever actually made m care for Kid Devil. At least in the way one cares for a retarded, smelly puppy who keeps running and hitting his head against the walls and makes you wonder if euthanasia can actually improve him. But it's a form of caring. He also made me like Rose... not enough to read the horrible Terror Titans to the end, but I like Rose, crazy psycho bitch that she is. I will even dare and say that in the last few issues the team actually got... happier? I think it did. Perhaps because Robin left and he is a bit of a downer.

So, thought?
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Opinion
Mar. 10th, 2009 @ 11:16 am From Comic Book Comics.
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Mmmm... One eyed. Turtleneck. Happy. Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know! It's Frank! Yes, it's Frank; he works at the counter of the juice bar down the street from... like there! I am not sure he is happy, because the other day he was worried his insurance wouldn't cover that rash he has on his leg. It's a pretty nasty rash. But overall I would say he is happy... mostly. Rash and all.

But who kicks out 60s Batman and Riddle from an orgy? Who invites them in the first place? But if they are there already, why kick them out?
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Ponder
Feb. 17th, 2009 @ 01:03 am I need to buy stuff! In your face, George Romero!
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I know there is already a Blue Beetle doll action figure thing out, but I think I want to get this one more than the other. There is also some B&B Aquaman coming out too. Sadly, no Platelet.

It's from this bunch of pictures of upcoming toys.
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Charmed
Feb. 16th, 2009 @ 12:28 pm Well, now this is a solicitation I never expected.
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FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH: DANCE #1
Written by Joe Casey
Art by ChrisCross
Cover by Stanley “Artgerm” Lau
Japan’s Super Young Team wants nothing more than to be seen as heroes in the eyes of their adoring public. Unfortunately, their adventures during FINAL CRISIS have gone unnoticed, and they’ve been reduced to performing at public appearances and on various TV shows literally dancing for their livelihood. But the appearance of a new American teammate and a deadly threat complicates the motives of the team as they try and find what truly makes somebody not just a hero, but a sensational hero. Discover the path to greatness in this exciting 6-issue miniseries!


Yes yes, it's just the crappy Japanese superhero team from Final Crisis.

BUT!

It's Dancing with the Star with superheroes! Written by Joe Casey! With art by Chris Cross! If this lasts the whole six issues I'll eat my hat, and I don't even wear hats. I'll buy a hat and eat it. But damn it, I will read this and cherish it for as long as it lasts.
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Ponder
Feb. 14th, 2009 @ 12:11 am CAN THIS STUPID TEAM STOP FORMING ALREADY!
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I don't think anyone has noticed, because I have never mentioned it at all, but I have been reading Outsiders since it started. I have never reviewed it because it has never been anything worth mentioning either for good or for bad. It's just this book that gets along in a perpetual state of pleasant mediocrity and that's that.

But this book has to be the crowning achievement of DC's editorial clusterfuck.

When the book started, Tony Bedard was supposed to be the writer. DC published a bunch of one shots where Batman had to choose between two heroes who was going to be in his team. All the one shots came out, Batman had picked his team and Bedard was ready to start his run. Or so we all thought.

At some point DC thought otherwise. Chuck Dixon became the new writer of Outsiders and Bedard got swept under the rug even before he started. Alas! He had to save that horrible story about Internet villains for Birds of Prey.

So Chuck Dixon began to write. And what did he do? Remove the heroes he didn't want to write about and put in the ones he liked. Outsiders formed again just right after forming.

But Chuck Dixon made a grave mistake! During the DC Christmas party he gave Grant Morrison a bottle of Rogaine. OH NOES! He had insulted the holy bald head blessed by the electric UFO spirits from beyond. Morrison then using his Machiavellian mind and magical powers set the pieces in motion and got Chuck Dixon fired. And remember, just because this is all dumb shit we made up without any regard for common sense, facts or logic, doesn't mean it isn't true!

Chuck Dixon was casted away from heaven like Lucifer for his sin against the hair-challenged. Frank Tieri got his turn at the bat (and the Outsiders) next.

And what did Tieri do? Kill the new characters Dixon created and changed the team again. Isn't that nice? Sure, specially because a few short issues later Batman RIP ended and Outsiders could no longer use Batman and so we got a two issue story of Batgirl FORMING THE GODDAMN OUTSIDERS ALL OVER AGAIN! The story ended with issue 14.

The story doesn't end there because this Wednesday Batman and the Outsiders Special came out, written by new new writer Peter Tomasi. Can you guess what happened? Come on, make a guess!

Since Batman sort of died in Final Crisis - but not really died - he left instructions to Alfred to FORM THE STUPID OUTSIDERS ALL OVER AGAIN! Yes, a whole new team of Outsiders even though we never got to see Batgirl's team in action ever! No, there is not even an explanation of what happened to Batgirl's team!

CAN THIS STUPID TEAM JUST STOP FORMING?

I made fun of Teen Titans because they are always pulling out the 'Evil version of Teen Titans team attacks the Titans at the tower' every once in a while, but they got nothing on this. Outsiders has only been around for 14 issues and this is the fifth or fourth time the team forms. It's just ridiculous.

Can't this stupid comic just pick a team and run with it for at least a year?

I hope Tomasi manages to stay. I'm not crazy about the team he picked, but he picked Roy Raymond TV Detective and as you all know I have a soft spot for retarded obscure DC characters, and Roy Raymond TV Detective has all the qualifications. He is a detective and he solves mysteries on TV! It's like Unsolved Mysteries if the guy actually solved any damn mysteries and punched bad guys! Yes, it's stupid.
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Frustrated
Jan. 13th, 2009 @ 06:19 pm It’s time to commit nerd sacrilege.
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I have a confession to make. Remember Batman The Animated Series? That one everybody loves and says it’s the way Batman should always be and, you know… that one? I… I think… I am pretty sure I like Batman Brave and the Bold better than that one.

Now, don’t take me wrong, I don’t dislike Batman TAS at all, I actually like it. Now, I may not like it as much as others, but I like it. I think most people tend to forget that out of ten BTAS episodes 1 is great (mostly written by Dini and/or Timm), 1 is good, 5 are mediocre, 2 are plain boring, 1 is a complete turd. When it was good it was very good, but most of the time? Meh! Despite having some of my favorite moments I wouldn’t put BTAS in my top 5 superhero cartoons list ever. I don’t really have a list of that. I am not anal retentive enough to do that… actually, I haven’t had the time. But if I ever get the time, I wouldn’t put BTAS there.

So far every episode of Batman B&B instead has been glorious dumb fun and not a dull moment. Overall, I am enjoying B&B a lot more than TAS.



This scene needs MOGO!


Yes, I guess BTAS was more “sophisticated” than most cartoons, which in itself it’s not saying much, but it was hardly drinking Moet Chandon in the lobby of the Waldorf Astoria while reading Thomas Pynchon level sophisticated. It was more like drinking Zima in the lobby of a Holiday Inn while reading Terry Pratchet.

I have no clue what that is supposed to mean. I got lost there.

What I was going for is that B&B is a lot better at being dumb fun than BTAS was at being an art-deco, noir take on Batman.

The only thing I dislike about B&B is Batman’s narration. Really, Batman, shut up! Go shoot more missiles with your flying bat-bike or something.

So yeah, anybody watching B&B too?
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Opinion
Nov. 25th, 2008 @ 10:40 pm So I wrote a short fanfic...
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I wrote it for the cold snap: winter '08 porn battle thing.

and based on this prompt:

Hard to get, DC Comics, Iris West/Lian Harper, sleepover.

and before you go and call Chris Hanson, this fic takes place in the future and everybody is a grown-up. EVERYBODY! ALL THE KIDS DIED!... you dirty minded pervert.
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Ponder
Nov. 19th, 2008 @ 10:08 pm The Arrowette Art Gallery.
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During mild attacks of egomania and boredom I like to go to Deviantart and make a search for "Arrowette." Now, there are way more pictures than this, but I only picked the ones I liked or were interesting in some way or another.

Fanart after the cut... )
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Charmed

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