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Sep. 14th, 2008 @ 02:10 am Teen Titans are recruiting! SO RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
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DC has released the advanced solicitations for some of their titles, and it’s mostly same-old, same-old, except for Teen Titans #66 which might be interesting, plain bad or something to worry about… depending on how much you like the characters on the cover and how convinced you are Teen Titans is the place where happiness goes to die.



TEEN TITANS #66
Written by Sean McKeever
Art and cover by Eddy Barrows & Ruy Jose
Teen guest stars galore! With only four members left, it's time for the Teen Titans to hold a recruitment drive! Who will make the cut, and who will be sent packing? Who will refuse to even show up, and who will bring a boatload of trouble with them?
On sale December 31 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

The whole ‘recruitment drive’ story has been done before, most recently in Birds of Prey. It’s a type of story where readers get baited by DC dangling their favorite B or C list hero in front of their faces with the promise of maaaaaaybe putting them in the team, but that usually never happens and it’s all a load of bull-ass. Heck, in the Birds of Prey issue some of the gals on the cover only got one lousy panel in the book. One lousy panel! Still, the bait picked for Teen Titans is surely interesting.

Let’s have a look!

1. Supergirl: Been there, done that! She left because Wondergirl kicked her out of the team. Cassie thought she was hanging out with Supergirl only to replace Superboy in her life. Sadly, it’s not anywhere near as femlashy or interesting as I am making it sound. As you have guessed, Supergirl got kicked out of a team for reasons that have nothing to do with her skills as a superhero or anything that actually might make some modicum amount of goddamn sense. So why would she go back? Maybe she finally figured out Cassie is not the leader of anything and has no right to kick anyone out of any team.

Oh well, Supergirl is going to have a bigger role in the Super books in the near future, or at least that’s the current idea. Since DC is trying to push her into the spotlight, it is possible they might want to put her in Teen Titans too. It is also possible they might think she is now the sole property of the Super-books and leave her there. I can see her story in this issue going two ways. “After what Cassie did to me, they want me to help them? Screw’em!” and that’s her one panel appearance in the book. Or! Supergirl shows up, helps out and forgives Cassie and stays in the book.

Chances of joining Titans: 50%

Notice please that the number there was not entirely pulled out of my ass, but was calculated by the astonishing Shampoo-Arrow-Computer, the most advanced piece of hardware and software I could buy with my allowance from the Tandy Whiz Kids. Envy my superior 24 colors screen graphics and my CD-ROM! It came with MYST. Do you remember MYST? Well, I don’t have to remember it because I am playing it right now!

2. Spoiler: Adding Spoiler to the team would bring some very, very interesting dynamics to the Teen Titans. For instance, Robin and Wondergirl’s inept romance would suddenly become interesting and not just gut-punching painful to watch. Just imagine poor Steph catching them in the middle of one of their “should we or shouldn’t rub peepees?” routines.

But alas! Steph has one major problem; crime-fighting-wise she is really, really boring and not very useful. Her entire shtick is that she fights… sort of okay. That’s it. She is nice when she is hanging around Robin, but she doesn’t have much going on in her favor if she ever wanted to go solo. I know robin doesn’t have any powers, but he at least has ninja skills and he is the smart one of almost any team he wishes to join. Steph is not bringing anything to the team by the way of powers.

Chances of joining Titans: 0%

3. Bombshell: Bombshell? Yeah, she was one of the many, many Titans Johns made up and never bothered to flesh out. All we know about her is that she betrayed the Titans and that makes me wonder just why the hell she is on that cover?

Oh poopie… please tell me I won’t have to read through another redemption story. Of all the characters on the cover, Bombshell is the most boring one, so I guess that means she will probably be the one they pick to stay… despite that she betrayed them and attacked them. Really, that happens all the time.

Chances of joining Titans: 90%

4. Traci 13: Traci is adorable and funny so I have no clue why she is even in the same continent as the Teen Titans. Making her join the team would at least give Blue Beetle someone to talk to. She and Jaime can bring their great banter! The team doesn’t have a magician, so she would fill a niche there. She joining Titans actually makes sense, so that’s why it’s not going to happen at all.

Chances of joining Titans: 20%

5. The Ray: Already a member of the Freedom Fighters, and I think nobody really cares much about him these days. Maybe McKeever really liked him in the 90s and wants to write him now. Maybe they picked names out of a hat, who knows?

Chances of joining Titans: I dunno!%

6. Shining Knight: Morrison character, which means only Morrison knows what to do with them. She’ll probably get one panel in the whole story and that’s it, like Bulleteer got in the Birds of Prey issue. It’s a shame nobody else knows how to write a female, cross-dressing, antediluvian, time traveling Arthurian knight and her sassy talking horse sidekick. What kind of world is this?

Chances of joining Titans: 0%

7. Klarion: Yeah, they were really pulling names out of a hat. Klarion is not a superhero; he is more an amoral adventurer who tends to get in trouble and then get out of trouble by going on murderous rampages on his merry way to the next adventure. Not Teen Titans material when you think about it. Of all the Morrison Seven Soldiers, Klarion was one of the most interesting but his nature makes him impossible to use in most DC books. He is not a villain, but you can’t use him as a superhero either. It’s a shame.

Chances of joining Titans: 0%

8. Speedy: She was sexually abused by her father, she was a teenage prostitute and she is infected with the HIV virus. Why would Teen Titans want her if her life can’t get worse? As a challenge? Are the Titans going to suck whatever happiness remains just to prove they can? Adding her would be interesting because she makes the other character’s petty and small problems so much smaller compared to her problems.

Kid Devil – “Waaaaaaah! Nobody loves me! Rose doesn’t want to get naked in front of me anymore!”

Speedy – “My dad raped me.”

Kid Devil – “WHO ASKED YOU?!?... showoff bitch”

Chances of joining Titans: 20%

9. Misfit: Poor, poor Misfit. Too peppy to join the Misery Squad. I don’t see it happening, she doesn’t fit. Besides, she already has stuff to do with the Birds of Prey.

Chances of joining Titans: 10%

Thoughts? Wagers?
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[User Picture Icon]
From:[info]aulayan
Date: September 14th, 2008 10:23 am (UTC)
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Here are my thoughts.

Traci 13 will be put on the team. So McKeever can ruin whatever romance is between her and Jaime, when that should be the job of whoever's writing Beetle right now. But Team writers don't care, they'll do what they want. (Notice all 15 of Robin's romances split throughout the DC universe)

Also, not everyone on that cover is everyone who'll appear in that issue. I'm sure you'll be getting your invitation any day now.

And Supergirl I think will be in Robinson's Justice League, so I don't think she'll be in Titans.
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 14th, 2008 07:16 pm (UTC)
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> Notice all 15 of Robin's romances split throughout the DC universe

Nah, that's normal. Robin is a whore.

> I'm sure you'll be getting your invitation any day now.

Yay! Another one panel cameo!

> And Supergirl I think will be in Robinson's Justice League, so I don't think she'll be in Titans.

I totally forgot that! Yeah, supergirl now belongs to Johns and Robinson. Her chances go down to zero now.
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From:[info]philippos42
Date: September 17th, 2008 05:15 am (UTC)
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15? Jubilee, Spoiler, not Greta, Wonder Girl (agh), um....
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From:[info]lieut_kettch
Date: September 21st, 2008 02:59 am (UTC)
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Darla/Laura, Zoanne, Bernard...
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From:[info]shanejayell
Date: September 14th, 2008 10:44 am (UTC)
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Supergirl and Speedy are already members, technically. *lol*

Of the others, I wouldn't mind Spoiler, if they can come up with a new gimnmick for her.
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 14th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
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> Supergirl and Speedy are already members, technically. *lol*

It was never explained why Speedy left, right? She just stopped showing up one day and that was that.
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From:[info]jeff_morris
Date: September 15th, 2008 08:41 pm (UTC)
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She got *smart*. :)
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From:[info]rdfox
Date: September 14th, 2008 11:27 am (UTC)
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Steph needs to drop everything and run away from Titans Tower at top speed, instead heading for a paired book with Cass. "Batgirl and Spoiler" probably wouldn't be a huge sales success, but it'd certainly be a fun read while it lasts!

I don't expect Misfit to make the cut, either, given that the artist couldn't be bothered to draw her right (since when does she wear bracelets, and where's her mask and cape?). On the other hand, McKeever did say that he was really excited about writing her during his run on BoP, and he might just decide he wants to go back and pick up some of the threads he started with her during his run there.

God, Charlie, bounce out of there, now! Doesn't matter where, even Amanda Waller's shower would be a safer place! ...Speedy's about to shoot you in the head, that's a good reason to do so!
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 14th, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
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> I don't expect Misfit to make the cut, either, given that the artist couldn't be bothered to draw her right

Looks more like Brenda from Blue Beetle. It might be Brenda... really.
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From:[info]magpiggles
Date: September 14th, 2008 12:50 pm (UTC)
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I'd have thought you'd have a lot more solidarity with The Ray given you're both YJ survivors...

Also isn't Bombshell dead?
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From:[info]nevermore999
Date: September 14th, 2008 03:04 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, Cissie, where's the love for Ray? Didn't you have a crush on him and his shiny, shiny teeth?
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 14th, 2008 07:26 pm (UTC)
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It was just the shiny teeth thing. Toothpaste commercials are like porn to me...
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From:[info]shananagin
Date: September 14th, 2008 03:54 pm (UTC)
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This isn't happening for a few months. Anything can happen in a few months...
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 14th, 2008 07:25 pm (UTC)
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> Also isn't Bombshell dead?

That whole storyline is like an alcoholic blackout in my mind.
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From:[info]shananagin
Date: September 14th, 2008 03:57 pm (UTC)
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I want Shining Knight to show up! Actually, I really wish I still trusted McKeever because I love a lot of these characters and would love to see them interacting with the Titans cast. But I worry it'd be like that awful Empress/Supergirl thing.

Speaking of which, where is Empress? They should invite her to join if they're grabbing old YJ members! You too, though since you're retired, it's a bit more understandable. Still!

I wonder if McKeever will even mention that the Ray used to be on YJ.
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 14th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC)
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> I want Shining Knight to show up!

Well, she is on ehte cover but I doubt she'll get much panel time.

> But I worry it'd be like that awful Empress/Supergirl thing.

Yeah, and the worst thing is that it looks like it's going to be the most likely scenario.

> though since you're retired

I came back for that Wondergirl mini!
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From:[info]shananagin
Date: September 14th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
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>I came back for that Wondergirl mini!

True, but I thought that was temporary!

You're cooler than Speedy and she's on the cover.
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 14th, 2008 08:03 pm (UTC)
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That's because she was created by Kevin Smith. Ooh! The creator of Onomatopoeia and director of Mallrats. Yeah... awesome...
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From:[info]onfireforhigher
Date: September 17th, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
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Peter David > Kevin Smith.
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 17th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
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Tom Peyer... actually.
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From:[info]onfireforhigher
Date: September 19th, 2008 04:40 am (UTC)
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whoops! my bad.
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From:[info]stinglikeabee
Date: September 14th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
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Ray joining Teen Titans from the Freedom Fighters must be the worst demotion ever. It's like being seated at the kids' table. Unless McKeever really wants a Superman-type-only-with-light-energy in the team for the fight-scenes, I doubt he'll actually join the team. Plus, Ray's a backup JSA member and Johns might want a piece of that.

My money's on Speedy, cos it's an easy way to cram in more angst into the book.

Has the book even resolved the whole Jericho/Match thing?
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 14th, 2008 07:38 pm (UTC)
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I think Jericho / Match might get resolved in the other Titans book, the mini... Teen Titans west coast, or east coast or whatever coast they live nearby. The Titans mini with Ravager, that one!
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From:[info]jeff_morris
Date: September 15th, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC)
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Actually what will happen is that WonderDevilDog will kill them all during Recruitment Day, forcing the Titans to recruit Kid Eternity so they can all be used in the upcoming storylines.

You know, sadly, I could see this happening.
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From:[info]cissie_king
Date: September 17th, 2008 05:24 am (UTC)
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I completely forgot about that image showing the future Titans line-up with Kid Eternity and two shadows. I hope Rex shows up and saves the day to reclaim his title as wonderdog.
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From:[info]shidoikarji26
Date: September 16th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC)
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Wait..Miss Martian GONE?! No more reason to buy this crap. Or they could have Misfit, Miss Martian, Jamie & Traci on this book. But that team is filled with too much awesomeness for DC.
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From:[info]onfireforhigher
Date: September 17th, 2008 05:51 am (UTC)
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*sigh*

agreed.

Especially with McKeever writing. He has potential.

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